I left work early yesterday so I could take my husband to his test. When I got home, I was less than pleased with him from the night before, and I let it show. It was about a 30 – 40 minute drive to the testing facility and I could definitely smell that horrible drunk smell on him the entire time in the car. I dropped him off and it took him just under an hour to complete the test…and he passed.
Same thing on the drive home. That stale smell filled the car. When we got home, he wanted to talk to me and told me he couldn’t take it any more…he needed a drink. He said that he’d had a hard time taking the test because he felt sick and was shaking. I was so fed up with him I gave him a couple dollars to go get it and went to bed. He disgusts me and I reminded him of that, as well as the fact that I want a divorce.
This morning, he asked me for cigarettes. I almost didn’t buy them because I am sick of it, but decided I should so that no more of my DVDs disappear. I again reminded him how much I would like a divorce.
I have not heard from him since I’ve been at work. I am having more bad sinus issues and must have slept wrong because I have a bad knot in my neck and it’s making it very uncomfortable to sit here – and I still have about five hours to go.
I am so irritated with him. I can’t believe he showed up to a test DRUNK and still managed to pass. It just goes to show you what would be possible if he decided to actually DO something with his life. Am I serious about the divorce stuff? Yes. And no. The thought of going through with that stuff…and the ugliness that will come of it stops me dead in my tracks.
I have to work Saturday AND Sunday this weekend at the new job. I will be ever so cranky from it. Keep me in your thoughts and I hope everyone has a better weekend than I probably will.
My hubby just back from his last failed rehab visit called me yesterday to say that he needed a drink and money for it, I said no went to my family doctor and got him three days worth of valium to get him over the withdrawl.
We are just waiting for hm to get into a lockdown facility…it’s either that or we seperate.
OMG this all sucks, get to an al-anon meeting let your frustration out and get some comfort from them. It will help.
Can you get him into a lockdown rehab facility b/c I am also sick of my stuff being sold to feed is addiction.
Try to focus on doing something fun for yourself this weekend. I know that you are working, but try to think of something that you can do to get away. You don’t have to go down with him. You still have a life to lead and believe it or not it can be good even with what is going on.
Hang in there!
I do not know what I would do – but I can tell you what I have done before, when my husband drank.
We seperated for a period of time, because it seemed that everything he touched would crumble and I could not stand to look at him.
If your husband is not working, then money should not be spent on anything like cigs and alcohol for him. The benefits of a paycheck can earn him those things.
To this day I refuse to pay for my husbands cigs – I wont – I never have – he works and he pays for it.
Do your best to figure out a way to do sopmething for you this weekend.
I will not buy any alcohol for an alcoholic. It won’t happen. I won’t enable again.