I’m feeling so down today. He drank last night and all day today. I don’t even think it’s that that’s bringing me down. It’s just everything. I’m so sick and tired of feeling like I’m in a roommate situation rather than a relationship.
I love my job though. I go in tomorrow morning and I’m actually looking forward to it. It’s been a looong time since I’ve felt that way. I got along well with everyone in my training class but I haven’t met anyone that I’d consider real “friend” material but that’s ok. Sometimes that’s better. Unfortunately I found myself having a slight and I mean slight crush on someone there. I feel so stupid even admitting that but it’s true. I’m not sure if the feeling is reciprocated but that’s probably better that way, too.
He’s been “working” but I use that term loosely. He’s only worked like ten hours tops per week if that. Now he also drinks over half his check away so it’s not helping me much. He just continues to make things hard for me. Every. Single. Day.
I looked online at the Legal Zoom website. I can file for dissolution in my state and Legal Zoom only charges $299 for the paperwork. I’m really thinking about ordering…if I could ever get a hold of three hundred bucks!
Anyway, I’m doing well, except for him. Let’s hope 2012 holds better things for all of us.
I hear ya. I can truly understand the roommate deal, we are taking turns by sleeping in the bedroom. To me a marriage at home is watching TV together, cooking together and sneaking around the house for a quickie when the kids are awake. Not that here either. Just a roommate situation as well. He gets on the phone and talks about me like he is the victim to his friends and family. Talks very loud so I can hear him. It’s amazing to me how much good luck he has. He seems to always get a hold of beer and cigarettes even when he doesn’t have money. Tonight one of our neighbors are having a party so he has lucked up and was invited. I am sure he will come stumbling in the house tonight, so embarassing.
I looked up legal zoom as well, but I can’t apply for dissolution because THEY say I make too much money, I can’t tell with all the responsiblities I have to take care of. But, I am planning on filing myself I got the papers off of the county website for free. I have to pay $255 to the county courts. $205 for the filing and $50 for the Sheriff dept. to give him notice. That’s the hard part I have been trying to figure out how do I get him out of the house with him having been violent in the past. It would just be easier if he would just pick up and move out. But I can’t see that happening.
I am not sure how your state works with divorce, but when you are ready you can check out you state laws and see if you can file Pro Se. They may give you the option to file for free. The papers can be kind of frustrating to fill out.
Yes, I pray and pray that this year wll be better for us.
good luck for the job,… i have changed my phone and disappear from his life. the day before my disappearance, i was looking at my bruises , cleaning up the broken tables and chairs , asking myself why am i so stupid still hanging on? should have done it before history repeats over and over again, told myself may be another day he will be better and normal again, next day hes better until a few more drinks , started to drive , just stopped by at the road side sitted there and rafed the car, passer by watched and he started to leave the car and scolded them. next thing he drove the car and hit the railing, stopped the car by the roadside again, i cant remember what i said but he started to get pissed and violent, so i left the car and looked at him, thats the last time i saw him….
good luck to us!
It’s good to check with your state laws and see if you can file for legal separation. It may be the impetus he needs to get his act together. When I told my wife that I was leaving, she went to AA and has been sober and going to meetings ever since. I went to Al-Anon then as well. Sometimes it takes a shake up to make a change in both people.
You can do it. Just one step at a time or maybe one large step. You are so deserving of a better life! Please don’t waste the one you have. You deservve happiness. Take care.
A couple of things I’m thinking about for you. I am not sure what your $$ situation is but if you wanted to get some counseling help for your self (because you are the one that matters here) try looking into the Human Services Division in your county/state. I know that in my state they have programs. There is also a program through Volunteers in Medicine where you could get counseling and possibly help for him if he wants it. From the sounds of it he will never be able to quit drinking cold-turkey with out medical help (detox/rehab).
The other thing that I think is that you should just leave. Worry about the divorce stuff later. Get yourself to a safe place. From what I have been reading on here, there have been many instances that his behavior could be and is considered criminal. For instance, not letting you leave your own home is a threatening and abusive behavior. It doesn’t matter the reason, whether it be alcohol or if he is sober, the abuse is the same. Look at this website or call the hot-line and talk to someone. Please do this for yourself and your kids. http://www.thehotline.org/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)