I am a woman who has been with an alcoholic for well over ten years. He was an alcoholic when I met him, although I am not so sure I really understood the real meaning of that until it was too late and I was in love. Yes, I do love him. And I also hate him when he drinks.
I could go on for days about crazy things that have happened to us and to me over the years. It’s been a wild ride with plenty of loss and tragedy. I wish I could go back to my early 20’s and choose a different path. I can’t and now I feel a duty as his wife to be loving and supportive. The main problem I am dealing with now is his attitude when he ISN’T drinking. He’s angry, irrational and emotionally not there for me. It’s constant walking on eggshells not to anger him, but it happens anyway.
The saddest part of my story, and probably a lot of other people who are involved one way or another with an alcoholic, is that my husband is one of the most intelligent, caring and kind people you’ll ever meet. He has so many gifts, intellectually, and he has wasted his entire adult life on Busch Light and an occasional cheap Vodka. His health is jeopardized and he is only in his early 30’s. I don’t want to be a widow at age 40. I also don’t want to be going round in the same circle I have been with him, never getting anywhere and facing the same troubles as we have been and still do.
My husband has been to every hospital and “rehab” that our town offers. He has been kicked out of hospital outpatient recovery programs because his relapses are so frequent. He has gone AWOL from men’s homes and detox programs. I am so terrified that he’ll never “get it”. He isn’t drinking today, but it’s just a matter of hours or possibly days, before I come home from work and find him passed out, snoring loudly, with my whole home smelling of cigarette smoke.
I hope that you’ll enjoy or learn from, or even relate to my story. I hope your alcoholic “gets it” one day, too.
The Alcoholic Marriage 