I almost don’t even believe it myself, but he’s drinking again.
I picked him up yesterday morning to take him to an appointment he had with a client of his. He wasn’t acting nor did he look drunk, but I had a feeling that he had. I can’t tell you why, I just did. So after the appointment I dropped him off at a bus stop and he told me he needed money because of this transfer and he would need cigarettes, so I gave him $6. I worked job #2 yesterday so I called him on my way there and once again, he definitely didn’t sound drunk but I suspected he was still drinking. When I get out of that job, I usually wait to call him until I’ve gotten on the highway, about 1 or 2 minutes down the road. He called me just after 9pm. The only time he does this is when he is drinking.
He actually didn’t sound too bad and most people probably wouldn’t even notice if they spoke with him, but I could. There were a few minutes of conversation before I actually confronted him about it. Typically, he denied it then apologized for it, then justified it. I was upset but I didn’t scream or get hysterical like I usually do. He said “You’ve already left me. You’ve made your decision” and I just told him that I wanted nothing more than to be with him, but that I can’t be around it so I’ve stayed with my friend until he shows me something different. I told him that I wanted to be home with him, not on her couch. Like the asshole that I am, I took him cigarettes. He promised me he would go to school the next day.
I was exhausted from working both jobs and having been running around a lot lately. I overslept, by about 15 or 20 minutes and when I woke up I saw a text message from him that read “i can’t do it”. I called. He told me he didn’t feel well and he would just have to stay home from school today, but for me not to worry because he will pass this class. I was so groggy and needed to get ready so I just let him go. My heart wants to believe he won’t drink today and that he’ll get well enough to go to his meeting tonight. My head tells me I am a complete idiot for even thinking that for one split second.
His mother had called me earlier in the week to see how he was doing so I called her back while I was driving to work this morning. I am not sure why she can’t call him herself, but whatever. I don’t think she was happy when I told her that this is the third time since the hospital fiasco that he’s drank. Naturally, she offered me no help or support.
If he doesn’t get his shit together to go to the meeting tonight, I plan on relaxing at my friend’s house in front of the TV. I’ll just watch lots of Seinfeld! If he does want to go, I’ll take him, but I am going to bitch the whole way there about this whole situation. I am really getting tired of this.
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