You know, I don’t really ask a lot. I am just so sick of his shitty attitude towards me. I am the one who should be a bitch all the time for all of the shit he’s put me through in the past thirteen plus years…but I just like peace so I let things slide off my back.
I invited him to a bonfire at a friend’s house this evening and when I asked him if he would want to go, his response was “Not really”. Then I said that when I got off of work, we could go to the grocery and get something to make for dinner this evening. I asked him what he wanted and he can never tell me anything he’d like to eat, however, he loves to say “NO” when I start guessing and name things he doesn’t like or want. So, finally I said I could make chicken and pasta salad. His response was “Whatever”. Are we in fucking junior high or what? Then I asked him what was wrong…why was he being so mean to me today? His reply was, ” I don’t feel good”.
The thing that pisses me off about it, is the fact that he is probably just mad that he had to work on my dad’s computer today. What the hell? This is the kind of shit he is going to school for. Maybe he’s mad that he won’t get paid? (My dad would offer to pay, but since my dad paid most of my husband’s fines and took him to court for his last DUI, I’d say we owe my dad). He is just so fucking childish and ungrateful! I wish I never would have come home!!!! I wouldn’t have to be going home to his shitty, disrespectful attitude. I am so sick of it and it hasn’t even been a week. He is such a fucking PRICK.
I am so thankful that I found your blog. I have been married for almost 12 years and my husband has been drinking for about 4 years. I have read through many of your post and GOD it is like you are writing my story! I will keep checking in with you. Hang in there.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Love/hate. It’s not anywhere close to an ideal marriage, though. It absolutely sucks.
I just keep waiting for the bottom to fall out from under me. It’s a matter of time.
In the meantime, thanks for commenting. It means a lot to me that real people are reading. It helps. I hope your husband gets it this time. It’s really tough if he’s in denial or just plain wants to drink. Believe me, I’ve been there, too.
Hey,
I am also glad to have found your blog. My husband is a begining alcoholic. I first noticed that his drinking was bad about seven months ago. Once I put a voice to it, he stopped trying to hide it from me and it has already been a roller coaster of one shitty thing after another. And yes it is 100% his attitude. I have just decided to distance myself from him as much as possible. He’s functioning enough to abstain from liqour during the work week, so he’s at home and not hanging out at the bar with his “friends”. But, I refuse to be around him until he decides that drinking is bad and he won’t drink any more.
We went through one blessed month of sobriety and it was so good. But, he slipped last weekend. I understand a slip, but, he’s not calling it a slip. He’s saying he wanted to drink and that I should stop treating him like a child. I let it go for two days after the “slip” then I told him there were perscriptions to take to stop drinking. And he hit the roof. We’ve gotten into it a couple of times since then, but I have just adopted the habit of staying out of the house until I am too sleepy. Then I go home and straight to sleep. I wake up extra early and leave before he wakes up also.
I want to look at him and not be angery or disappointed. I was so proud of him for trying to quit, and I wish he would try again. If he will try I will be supportive. But, what to do? I think of how young and talented he is and I told him straight he pissing it all away. Every time he gets drunk and pisses out that alcohol he loses a little bit of that gift that God gave him. I still love him. I just cant fucking stand him right now
I read a couple of your notes. It sounds like your married to my husband. I divorced my first husband in 1992. Didn’t I meet another asshole 6 weeks later and had children with him. I don’t want to hurt the kids but I really hate him. He is not even attractive to me. Actually he never was. I went out with him I think out of a rebound. I almost want to have an affair just to make sure I’m still attractive to other men. Then again I couldn’t stand to meet another asshole like the one I have now. Is there any good guys out there??